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thirteen and four - The Literary Exhibitionist
machupicchu
machupicchu
thirteen and four
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04222017-29


-- चार हजार एक सौ दो --


THIS JUST IN: I'm eating too much. Shobhit and I are having dinner at Saffron Grill for our anniversary tonight, and we already agreed to split a dish, which is a good thing. I've had three meals today already. Small ones, okay!

I had cereal for breakfast. And then I had some of the hash browns Noah cooked in the office kitchen mid-morning here at work. Cascadian Farm has this new kind that is a mix of potato and sweet potato hash browns with carrots, and they sent us a case. Why do these brokers keep sending us full cases lately? I asked him if he was going to cook through all of them, and he said he would do as much as would get taken by people, but I could take some home if I wanted. You don't have to tell me twice! I took two bags out of the box and stashed them in the Merchandising freezer.

Noah also offered me some eggs to go with my hash browns. So I had that too.

I thought about skipping lunch because of this, but those hash browns were at maybe 10 a.m. and that would just make me way too hungry by dinner time. I decided to compromise and keep the last of the leftovers from Shobhit's dinner made two nights ago, which I've been eating with sample crackers (two cases of those received at the office two days ago) until tomorrow, and instead today I had my Amy's Pinach Pizza in a Pocket Sandwich, which at least has only 280 calories. The leftovers lunch most assuredly has more than that. So, I'll eat that tomorrow.

I'm going to have chai with dinner tonight too, because Saffron Grill makes the best. That typically also keeps me away though so we'll see how well I sleep tonight. I guess I spoke too soon the other day about sleeping so well so many nights in a row because Monday night was my worst night's sleep in over a week. I slept like a log last night, though. I guess I'll take what I can get.

-- चार हजार एक सौ दो --


04232017-40


-- चार हजार एक सौ दो --


As I said, today is Shobhit's and my anniversary -- 13 years since our first date and four years since our wedding. The latter number is more amazing to me; I can't believe it's already been that long since the wedding. I was thinking recently about how that was even before Ivan moved in with me the first time, as that had been in 2014. Hell it was before the dipshit roommate moved in with me, as he only lived with me for four months in late 2013. The henna was still on my hands when that guy came to view the room -- he was also of Indian descent and immediately recognized the henna, congratulating me when I said it was for my wedding. He'd actually been polite on that first day. It took a few weeks before he revealed himself to be a dick.

I got a little off track there, didn't I? Anyway, the point is, it's amazing it's been four years already. But how fondly I still recall that day cannot be understated. I always felt it was foolish to declare it the happiest day of my life; I've had so very many incredibly amazing and fantastic days. But! I have always been willing to say I was never happier, before or since, than I was on that day. And another point: we spent ten grand on that wedding, much less than average among other people but that was a lot to us -- and it was absolutely worth every single penny, all the effort, every part of it. I am still so glad we did it.

Some people say that having a ceremony does make a relationship feel different. I don't think Shobhit or I ever really felt that way. We had for all intents and purposes already been married for nine years. That doesn't change how very special the day was, though.

Curiously, something else has made our relationship feel different: Shobhit's years living away from Seattle. Countless people felt it would have the opposite effect and we would never survive it (thanks for the faith, those of you who felt that way!), but doing that literally brought us closer together, made us take each other for granted less, and made us make a point to increase the quality of the time we spent together. And even now that we're living together again, that effect continues. I honestly feel our relationship is far healthier now than it ever was before he first moved away in 2010, and we had been together nearly six years then. We still bicker over stupid shit, of course, but we're also better at resolving conflicts. Shobhit even apologizes occasionally! Also, since last December we've had sex at least once most weeks, often twice a week, which may seem like not much to some couples but try comparing it to before Shobhit moved, when we literally could go a whole year having done it only three or four times. (Side note: having an open relationship definitely made me better at it. So judge all you want, these choices have been wildly successful for me.)

I do still regularly find myself struggling with the sometimes stark difference in values he and I have. He can be stunningly unsympathetic to humanity at large, and he can definitely have bigoted views, there's no question. He's also a good man, and I love him. These things are not mutually exclusive. Some people are in relationships with people whose entire political worldview is the opposite, which amazes me. I mean, shit -- at least Shobhit and I are both liberal Democrats. Even with the problems we still have -- and we'll have problems forever, like any relationship does -- I can't imagine not being with him for the rest of my life.

That would sound naïve if we were, say, still in the first five years of our relationship. It's harder for the skeptics to scoff after this much time, though. I fully recognize that there are still no guarantees and there never will be. Hell, we could divorce in our seventies; who knows? But I still feel like at this point our lasting the rest of our lives is more likely than not. There's something very comforting about that. At least when he's not annoying the shit out of me, anyway.

It's been pretty good lately, at least. He usually makes dinner and I made it last night, which he even specifically thanked me for doing. We finished season five of House of Cards and both agreed it was the show's weakest season to date. (Clare Underwood talking to the camera just doesn't have the same heft. Is that a sexist view, I wonder? Whatever the case, it doesn't feel the same. It may be just the difference between Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright as actors, in spite of the fact that they are both great ones.) We did the crossword puzzle. I went to bed. Another day in a generally contented life for which I remain consistently grateful.

-- चार हजार एक सौ दो --


05162017-01

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positive energy please