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blindsided by vaginoplasty - The Literary Exhibitionist
blindsided by vaginoplasty

-- चार हजार और सत्तर-एक --

Well, this is sort of odd: in all my writing about having drinks with Shobhit and that trans couple last Friday evening, I totally spaced on what was the most memorable part of the evening. So, I'm going to tell you about it now.

Katie-Lynn, the one with the acrylic nails and the wig, almost out of nowhere, started talking about how she was having "bottom surgery" next week -- or rather, this week now, I suppose -- including vaginoplasty. I was a little bit stunned by her unsolicited openness about this, given the fervor with which most trans people say their genitals are nobody's business (which is true), and I told her so: "It's fascinating to me that you're so open about this. Most trans people aren't."

Her response was, I thought, fair: "I'll answer any question, except for what my name was before transitioning. It's about educating people." She even went so far as to say that, unlike some trans people who get rid of all evidence, including photos, of themselves from before transitioning, she does none of that. She mentioned her two kids and said, "I'll always be their father."

I asked her how her kids refer to her now, and this was probably the saddest moment of the evening: "My kids don't really have anything to do with me these days." This includes, curiously, a trans daughter, male-to-female, just like her. The characterization was that it had to do with a child wanting to distance herself from the attention given to her parent, but I suspect there's more to the story there. To put it diplomatically, this woman had a lot going on personality-wise, in ways that really had nothing to do with being trans. We all have issues with our parents.

I suspect, by the way, that this unusual openness with virtual strangers about vaginoplasty is also related to her age: she happily reported to us that she's 57 years old. There has long clearly been a generational divide in attitudes among the LGBT community, and that applies specifically to every one of those letters -- and more: "genderqueer," "non-binary," "pansexual," "polyamorous," "intersex," and on and on. I just had a somewhat related conversation with Claudia here at work last week, when she told me she finally saw Get Out. We got to talking about the overall good but at times problematic Netflix comedy special recently released by Dave Chappelle, in which he revealed himself to be incredibly out of touch with trans issues when he threw out the term "Oppression Olympics" and then suggested Kaitlyn Jenner was elevated because of being trans (rather than, you know, because she's white -- Chappelle clearly has no idea that by far the most oppressed are trans people of color). But this notion goes both ways, and Claudia and I basically agreed on our frustration with a far-left that seems preoccupied with competing in "Wokeness Olympics."

I might wonder if someone Katie-Lynn's age evening knows what "being woke" means. I barely do. But, like crotchety old Bill Maher, I'm also exasperated by the PC-crusading, free-speech oppressing activists on college campuses across the country. Those are the people lending truth to the thinking on the far right that college indoctrinates more than it educates, and it's fucking counter-productive. Rioting just because a college allows a bigot to speak on their campus is not the answer; engaging them in ways that expose them for the horrible people they are is. Honestly I'm glad I went to college in the nineties -- when it opened my mind rather than convinced me I was literally a soldier in a culture war -- and not in the 2010s.

I suppose an important point to consider, though, was that Katie-Lynn's openness was still instigated by herself, and no one else. I still would not be inclined to ask about such things when talking to a person I don't know, but if they want to share, then they should go for it. God knows I always have.

-- चार हजार और सत्तर-एक --


-- चार हजार और सत्तर-एक --

Well, this is interesting: yesterday LiveJournal was not downloading on the work wifi network, and today it is again, making it much easier for me to find this link to share with you -- that is, of my review of Personal Shopper, which I took myself to see at Sundance Cinemas right after work yesterday. It was good, not great, not as good as reviews led me to expect. The more I think about it the more I dislike the end, although I can think of more "academically minded" movie fans declaring it great. And I say to that: whatever.

Also I think people who regard Kristen Stewart as an underrated actor are mistaken. I mean, she's fine. In a very narrow field of acting ability. To say her range is limited would be an understatement. She really was fucking awful in Twilight, so I guess she's improved.

It was Monday evening, so for the third week in a row I went to Sundance to get my ticket for $6 with an Orca Card. Shobhit opted not to join me this week, although he did still pick me up at work and drive me there, which saved me having to leave work half an hour earlier than usual to attempt public transit. I left work at 4:25; Shobhit picked me up pretty much right at 4:30; the listed showtime was 4:50 but it was closer to 5:00 by the time Shobhit got me there.

There was a slight snafu at the ticket counter. I was told "$7.50" and I didn't think to question it, thinking maybe they raised their prices. I should have said something -- but didn't until I went to the ticket-taker, and noticed my ticket actually said Ghost in the Shell. I had to go back to the cashier, who switched it to Personal Shopper and then refunded me $1.50 in cash. Whatever studio distributes Ghost in the Shell must insist on a premium for discounted tickets or something. Some studios are weird like that. If I had to guess, it's Sony -- they've always been that way. (Hmm, I guess it's actually Paramount Pictures. So I don't know what was up with that.)

Anyway, by the time I actually made it into the screening room, the timing was perfect: the trailers, probably all of which I had already seen multiple times, had just finished, and the movie was literally beginning at that very moment. And I was very intrigued by the movie for most of it, so much so that I was a little distressed to be forced to leave at one point to use the bathroom, but I had to pee so badly it was starting to get painful.

Then I took the bus home. I walked down Roosevelt Way past the old office to the bus stop I chose to go to, to catch the #49. Someone was setting stuff up in there -- the entry gate was open, the front door open, and lights on with furniture in various stages of setup inside. I didn't want to linger like a creep so I didn't get a long look, although I would have liked to. Someone new must be moving in there, though, eight months after we moved out of there.

Shobhit had lentils and rice made and ready to eat. We worked a little on the crossword puzzle together and then I went to write my movie review. I had the worst headache last night -- not especially intense, but still the kind (indicating it was likely a migraine) that made me feel literally like I wanted to throw up. I took two Aleve at the beginning of the movie, and that helped for a while, but then it came back a few hours later -- this is not how it usually happens; usually the two Aleve takes care of it altogether. Not this time. It got so that just listening to Shobhit talk, at louder than necessary volume but he was far from shouting, made my head hurt worse. So I got ready for bed and then went to sleep. I got a full eight hours of sleep last night as a result of getting into bed so much earlier than usual. I felt far better this morning, no headache at all.

-- चार हजार और सत्तर-एक --


positive energy please