Log in

No account? Create an account
most recent entries friends, acquaintances & a few strangers organized reminiscence all about Machu Picchu Fruitcake is dead Previous Previous Next Next
unfriend u - The Literary Exhibitionist
unfriend u

-- चार हजार और छियालीस --

I want to say first off that I am fully aware of how ridiculous and idiotic the supposed politics of "friending" or "unfriending" on Facebook is. But, here we are.

I finally unfriended a family member. An uncle, actually. I've been ignoring his directly insulting comments for some time, and I finally had enough of it. I've wanted so badly to insult him right back, but have resisted. I struggled with the idea of unfriending him mostly because his daughter is one of my closest relatives and I just don't want to have to get into it with her. (She actually defended me to him once, years ago, after he sent me a snail mail letter that was a litany of insults, including the suggestion, as I recall, that I wanted to fuck his sheep. He told her it was all just a joke, which I suspect is what he would say now. And it's entirely possible that she would be sympathetic to me now, but given the current political climate and the fact that she's made it pretty clear she voted for President Fuckwit, I think it best to avoid any conversation with her about it at all.)

I do think there should be a line, though. I've tried to see this from his ultraconservative perspective, riddled with double standards as it is: I do regularly insult not just President Fuckwit, but the entire party he clearly supports. But you know what? For him to be responding in kind, he'd merely insult the party and politicians I support. But that's not what he's doing. He regularly leaves comments on my posts that insult me directly and personally, which I have never once done to him.

The latest example would seem pretty minor. When I posted, "Happy #PresidentsDay to everyone except President Fuckwit!", he responded, "When did you become president." Clever. (Actually this was more clever than he's been in years, so I suppose I'll give him credit for that.) Taken on its own, it's relatively meaningless. But this was just the latest example of a clear trend.

When I quipped, "My STD screening results are always so negative," he responded, "Stupid turd day?"

You get the idea. I can't find earlier examples because Facebook won't go back in notifications history more than about two weeks for some reason. But the comments are always like this, they are insanely dumb, and they are regular.

I mean, his responses are reliably pointless and idiotic. And it's not like they're ruining my day, and it's not like they come at me constantly either. But I would be lying if I said they didn't bother me at all. What annoys me about them is that the one thing his responses always have in common is they are designed as personal put downs, as direct disrespect. He thinks he's just being funny, I am certain. Conversely, I think he's a fucking moron. I've never said so on any of his objectively moronic Facebook posts, though, and he is literally the one single person doing exactly that on mine. I've actively ignored him -- because any kind of engagement only feeds the fire -- for months now. And as little effort as that actually takes, I'm still tired of doing it.

I still want to keep my account public, and I do not want to block him and make it easily identifiable to him that he's gotten to me. This makes finding a way to deny him access to my posts tricky. Anyone can follow -- and comment on -- my posts even if they are not Facebook friends with me; thanks to a few posts I've made that gained some traction in Facebook groups with large numbers of members, I currently have 113 non-friend followers. I haven't blocked any of them -- not even another cousin, this same uncle's son, whom I abhor more than any other family member. But my attitude is, whatever; he can read what I post as long as he leaves me alone. And he does -- that guy never comments on anything I post, which makes it very easy to live my life as though he doesn't exist. (This guy is so extensively shunned that he did not even appear at Grandma and Grandpa's memorial service in September.)

Apparently there was a time when a Facebook friend defaulted to following you even after you unfriended them, but apparently not anymore: I unfriended this uncle, and when I view the list of the few accounts he follows (rather than his friends list), I am not on it. This means that all I wanted to have happened has effectively occurred: my posts should no longer show up in his Facebook feed. He's still free to directly to my page to see my posts, and would thus still have the ability to post comments that way. But I don't think he has even that level of initiative. He just posts these annoyingly idiotic comments because he sees my posts in his feed. And now he won't, and these moronic comments will hopefully taper off.

Anyway. This kind of stupid shit is understandably why some people avoid Facebook altogether. To be fair, I've actually had a somewhat similar experience on Twitter with an ex-boyfriend of my sister's, who has a history of surprisingly ignorant replies to my tweets. Mercifully, I've had no further interaction with him since last June (and I am now amused by the last thing I said to him: "I am done with this conversation."). Comparatively speaking, though Facebook is known far more than Twitter to be the place where family and/or old school classmates reconnect, and plenty of them may be people you don't particularly want to connect with.

I never particularly connected with this specific uncle. I suppose I came close once, when he gave me a ride on the back of his motorcycle, just him and me. I was somewhere around preteen age. I've never been on a motorcycle since and I don't want to be; I wasn't terrified of them then but I didn't know any better. Anyway, he took me to get a root beer float at A&W and he asked me not to tell any of my cousins we went without them. I really don't remember how all this came about. Even back then, this uncle was always goofy, to the point of eliciting eye rolls from the youngest of us grandkids/cousins. But it was all still more fun back then. The shtick got old ages ago. He still acts the same way in his old age and doesn't seem to realize how bad it makes him look. Or if he does, he sure as shit doesn't care. I can actually respect that, in and of itself. It doesn't mean I have to like it myself or endure his very specific brand of idiocy.

-- चार हजार और छियालीस --


-- चार हजार और छियालीस --

I went to see a 5:20 showing of a movie at Sundance Cinemas with Sara W from work last night -- our first movie outing together since June 22 of last year, well before our office move on August 1. She came to me on Wednesday this week lamenting how the move has made it more difficult for us to see movies together, because the traffic messes prevent her from ever staying downtown right after work if she can help it; she only stays if she has to for work. Otherwise it just takes too long for her to get home, which was never the case at the old location -- both the office and her home back then were north of the canals; the move made her commute both longer and, because we are now downtown, more complicated.

What this means is the only viable way for us to see a movie after work together is if it means getting out of downtown first -- and, therefore, seeing a movie in the U District or Wallingford. That ostensibly gives us four theatres to choose from, but she also never wants to wait until 7 pm to see a movie on a weeknight, and only Sundance Cinemas reliably has showtimes before 6:00.

Well, the Oscar-nominated animated feature, The Red Turtle, which conveniently also has a short run time (80 minutes), happened to be playing at Sundance Cinemas this week at 5:20. I was going to see it on Wednesday but Sara said she had an appointment she couldn't break. But, after some logistical catching up with contact information in our respective phones now that hers is no longer an iPhone, we made plans to see it together last night instead.

And, how's this for strange synchronicity? When looking at my contact page in my phone for her, I found this very odd photo I had taken of my hand with popcorn in it, which I had apparently texted to her. I found in my text archives that I had texted it to her on April 2, 2015 -- after coming home from a Thursday 5:20 showing of a movie at Sundance! (I texted it to her because the popcorn had fallen out of my jacket when I took it off at home.)

It would have been truly amazing if that text had been sent on February 23. I was almost disappointed it hadn't been.

Anyway! The movie was very good, if a little mystifying. Sara and I talked about it for a few minutes outside the theatre after the movie ended, and then I walked over to catch a #44 bus to the Light Rail station, which I then had to wait 10 minutes at before the train left for Capitol Hill, the station I then walked half a mile home from. At my request, Shobhit heated up the butternut squash soup I'd had for months and we've now finally consumed. I wrote the movie review and then we watched an episode each of Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory before I went to bed.

-- चार हजार और छियालीस --

One of my favorite brokers just dropped off a whole box of goodies for me. "There's no booze in it," she said (I had actually asked her to send me booze), "but there are mixers!" Yay! Now Shobhit has another bottle of tonic water for his truly disgusting gin. There's also a four-pack of bottled ginger beer, so I've got plenty more Moscow Mules in my future. That's kind of a new favorite drink, a very simple one I can make at home.

There are also several bags of chips and several chocolates. And a 4-pack of grapefruit flavored sparkling beverage that I would never actively choose -- grapefruit is not my favorite -- but whatever, I'll take it. It was very generous. The broker joked that it was partially to make up for the many new items they'll be submitting soon which I will wind up entering. This always cracks me up because it's not like I need to be bribed to do what's the job I was hired to do anyway. But that doesn't mean I won't accept all these treats regardless!

-- चार हजार और छियालीस --


positive energy please