?

Log in

No account? Create an account
most recent entries friends, acquaintances & a few strangers organized reminiscence all about Machu Picchu Fruitcake is dead Previous Previous Next Next
digressions - The Literary Exhibitionist
machupicchu
machupicchu
digressions
.
.
12082016-18

__
-- IV VII--


It’s all done and I’m all set, hooray! All my year-end year-in-review lists/posts are finished. I got the video retrospective done last night and it will get posted tomorrow morning. I know that it will be definition not be nearly as interesting to anyone besides me – not even Shobhit, although he is of course prominently featured – but oh well. I got it down to just over ten minutes, and watching the finished product makes me happy and reminds me of what a great year I actually had, in spite of it being such a shit show in so many other ways and for so many other people.

Speaking of which, something rather specific about that occurred to me just this morning. I often marvel at how much of a charmed life I have led for many years now. Now, I do think I can take responsibility for much of that – both in terms of specific choices I have made and in terms of how I choose to react and respond to things that happen that are beyond my control. But plenty of it is also sheer random luck. Just for instance, plenty of people who don’t deserve it and through no fault of their own lose really good jobs, and that is extremely unlikely to happen to me. That fact is never lost on me. Granted, Shobhit’s employment status is up in the air going into the new year, and that could become a very complicating factor in my life if it proves itself to be a persistent problem. The thing is, I have zero expectation of that either. I’m sure Shobhit will find a perfectly acceptable job soon enough and I am truly not worried about it.

That not being worried about shit is a key thing.

But! Getting back to the thing that occurred to me this morning, which I still haven’t mentioned: although I fully expect 2017 to be a genuine shit show both nationally and globally, and a whole lot of it will upset me a great deal, it’s still entirely possible that even with that going on, my charmed life will continue. I’m more likely than not to be not just fine, but better than fine. Plenty of other people won’t, particularly those less advantaged who are bound to be shit on even more, and the way I see it that just means I need to do what I can to do my part in helping making at least a few other lives better. I haven’t done it yet but I keep thinking about some kind of volunteering, which I have actually never done. I have already started with donations, which is sort of the lazy form of activism, but money genuinely helps so there’s that at least.

I don’t know what suddenly made me think of this, but I had a conversation a while back with Tommy in which the subject of crying came up. It started, as usual with him, with talk about movies. I was talking about some movie that had made me cry, and I clarified that it didn’t exactly make me weep. He said, “You don’t seem like a very weepy person.” Indeed not. And it made me think: when was the last time, anyway, that I truly broke down sobbing? I mean, I cried a bit when Batty died, and that was particularly painful; I cried a tiny bit when Grandma McQuilkin died, but I had been preparing for that one for a couple of years anyway. In neither case did I sob. As far as I can remember, the last time I truly sobbed was in 2002, when Dad and Sherri separated for the year. At the beginning of that, I really thought they were done, and even at the age of 26, it hit me hard. It probably would even if it happened now. I remember being at home one night and grabbing one of my throw pillows and sobbing into it. It felt like the world I had grown up with was breaking apart.

Surely something of that magnitude will occur again in my life. It’s kind of extraordinary it’s been nearly fifteen years since that one though. And unlike other people who are so incapable of believing what luck they have that they worry about when they’ll lose it all or whatever, I am ever the defiant optimist, and I generally just operate under the assumption that I’ll be fine. It has long felt like simply making that assumption was what caused it to happen. I’ve been fine for ages; I’m fine now; I’m likely to continue being fine. Or better than fine.
__
-- IV VII--


12142016-03

__
-- IV VII--


Anyway, I digressed there for a bit. I walked home from work last night, and I must say it’s a walk I particularly enjoy, even if the fact that I now go through the heart of downtown slows me down as compared to the walk from the old office location. I love walking through Pike Place Market; I love walking through downtown via Pine Street; I love walking through Capitol Hill. I’ve lived in Seattle 18 and a half years now, and even when I first moved here people were bitching about how things weren’t as good as they used to be. I have friends now who regularly toss out this complaint. It’s not the city they fell in love with anymore; Capitol Hill is less “gay” (whatever, it has never stopped feeling like a gay neighborhood to me); all the changes makes the city unrecognizable; those sorts of notions. Changes is inevitable, people! Not one single change over all these years has made me love Seattle any less. And guess what? Some of these new things popping up with prove to be beloved in their own right, and when those things end too – as all things do – people will whine and moan about that as well.

And I’ll still be here, loving this city. Not even my husband skipping off to New York and Los Angeles for nearly seven years could drag me away from it. Do you think a few business closures and/or new residential complexes will? Sheeeeit.

I had leftovers of the dinner Shobhit made last night for dinner, which was also what I had for lunch at work. It was decent, but I was sure glad for it to run out last night after having it three meals in a row. I had pizza for lunch at work today and it was heaven.

I proceeded to finish that year-end video. Then I finally got around to watching the second episode of The Crown, which Shobhit had insisted he wasn’t interested in, which never made any sense to me. He knows all about the history of the British crown, and it’s really only because of this show that I am finally getting a sense of how extraordinary the circumstances were that brought Queen Elizabeth II to the position she is in today: he father was only King because his brother Edward VIII abdicated after less than a year of reign so he could marry the divorced American woman he was in love with, which was not allowed if he were King.

Thus, unlike most monarchs, Elizabeth II had a childhood in which she had zero expectation of becoming Queen of England. This whole Edward VIII mess clearly rocked not just their world but that of the entire nation.

And I learned something else, which both Shobhit mentioned while he was providing me with historical detail and which was later mentioned in the episode I was watching: England’s previous Queen Elizabeth, for different reasons, also grew up with no expectation of being Queen. I found that pretty fascinating. It’s also pretty amazing that the current Elizabeth is the longest-reigning British monarch, so old at age 90 that her heir, Prince Charles, is already pretty old himself, at 68. There’s just no way he’ll reign for very long. Not that any of the Royals have much power beyond the symbolic, but this point is made interestingly clear even in this The Crown series – although they clearly still have a great deal of influence, or at least they did in the wake of World War II.

In any case, King George dies in the second episode, and when that happened, Shobhit took off the headphones he was using to watch a different show on his laptop and fully engaged with The Crown. Which I knew he would do if he just bothered to give it a look.

I went to bed soon after, and as often happens, Ivan got home from work before I fell asleep, and I heard him and Shobhit chatting briefly before I drifted off. I even heard Ivan ask if I was home. He probably wondered because Shobhit was in the living room by himself, but he was still watching that other show, I think.
__
-- IV VII--


11302016-02

.
.
positive energy please