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The Literary Exhibitionist
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For the first three years I was in the chorus, every time we held an election for Board officers, Julie would "respectfully decline" the expected nomination for her -- and then share, rather proudly, that after how many years she's been in the chorus (from its inception), she's managed to stay off the Board.

And now she's poised to become the Board President.

-- CCI --




-- CCI --


Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday Observed, and unfortunately I spent minimal -- and I mean minimal -- time thinking about the civil rights movement. I went to work, as did virtually everyone else I worked with; I had a Board meeting to attend, during most of which only 5 people were in attendance.

There was the black guy I saw pacing back and forth in front of the Icon Grill downtown last night, though, who kept shouting things like, "I have a dream . . . of a pizza!"

Gabe also left me a message to see if I was free to hang out. He works for the City of Tacoma, so he gets all these holidays off. The way my work works, I can take whatever holidays off I want or I can work if I want to. For holidays like this I tend to go to work. I never did get back to him, now that I think about it.

-- CCI --


There are two large apple pies in the kitchen at work today. Stephanie, apparently deciding for a brief moment to be thoroughly evil, took it upon herself to point them out to me. "Speaking of sugar addiction, there's apple pie in the kitchen!"

"I don't think I'll be having any," I said.

"Oh, I am." She's just as addicted to sugar as I am, and keeps asking about whether or not I've gotten the acupuncture treatment from [the other] Stephanie yet -- which is why I emailed [the other] Stephanie about it today.

I was in the kitchen and saw the pie. It called out to me. It was very seductive and I really believe it was doing that on purpose. Eat me Matthew! it said, throwing itself back in a pose of total submission. Ravage me! Run your tongue all over me and cut your teeth right through me!

I took a fork and took one single bite. And then I left the kitchen.

I should not have done that. It only resulted in me wanting more, and now I have to restrain myself even harder. The pie is calling me through my cubicle walls, through the door to the kitchen! It wants me to eat it so badly, I'm dangerously close to taking pity on it. Why must my existence be so fraught with turmoil!

That poor pie. It wants me to eat it so badly and I won't! Just a taste? it calls. Don't be such a fucking retard! Eat all of me!

But no. No, I won't.

I'll eat crackers instead.

-- CCI --




Well, it's later now (12:13!) and my lunch break is here. I never did eat any more than that one bite of apple pie. Aren't you proud of me? Maybe not. I don't care!

After last night's news of the Iowa Caucus, I guess I need to learn more about John Kerry. Hey, whoa -- apparently he's got a 100% rating from the Human Rights Campaign since 1995. Not bad.

Apparently he supports civil unions. God forbid any of these people actually support same-sex marriage, but whatever. It's a step in the right direction (although it can easily be argued that using the "separate but equal" mentality is not).

According to his website, he's pro-choice, supports affirmative action, and so far it looks like his environmental beliefs are decent. Apparently he's in favor of stricter gun control laws than Howard Dean (as it always made me nervous that the NRA gave Dean an A), so none of this seems all that bad to me.

I might have actually paid more attention to all that shit going on last night if it weren't for the chorus shit I had to deal with. I don't know what this means in terms of the actual presidential race anyway -- I suppose it might actually mean next to nothing, who knows? My primary concern, actually, as that the Democrats put up someone who can actually beat Bush. It's an unfortunate stance to have to take, but I can't tell you how passionately I feel about getting Bush out of office. Normally I get sickened by mudslinging, but I think the Democrats should go with all the gusto they have to show the country how despicable Bush has been for the past three years.

-- CCI --


Yeah, so, anyway. I went to my second Board meeting of the month last night. We're voting on whether or not we want Julie for President and Amy for Vice President, and I'm fairly confident it's a done deal, although the results have not officially been tallied yet. They'll have to be soon, though.

Amy McL could only attend the meeting for about 45 minutes, and Sally had to call on the phone and attend via speaker phone while we voted. More than one person tried in vain to get a hold of Roger and no one knows if he ever even knew the meeting was happening. I sure hope he's all right. Ruth had already said she wasn't going to be able to make it, so that left us with Julie, Amy, Mac, Molly and me. Molly actually managed to go the entire evening without annoying me even once, which I found to be an incredible feat.

So now we have two new committees established (technology, name change) and several other changes pending. I volunteered to coordinate our involvement in Pride, which I'm actually not going to bitch about because I've done it the past two years and I always planned on doing it this year anyway. After this year, though, that's it. Oh, the joy it will be to sit and watch the parade again, instead of either being there for work or to walk in it! I haven't had that opportunity since 1998.

Amy joined Julie and me for dinner after the meeting, and we went somewhere we'd never gone: The Attic, a tavern-like place out at Madison Park. The nachos I had were pretty good, although I shocked myself by eventually deciding I didn't want all that cheese anymore. We spent maybe 10 or 15 minutes talking about national politics while we were there. You'll never guess what we talked about the rest of the time -- chorus politics! Hoo fucking ray.

I wasn't nearly as "annoyed" as Julie apparently thought I looked, though. I was just tired, and tired of all the chorus stuff, so at worst I tuned out some of the conversation, but I wasn't sitting there irked about it or anything.

As soon as I walked into the meeting, when Mac said hello he said, "Hello there, Switzerland." I don't know if he has any idea that I made that stance as much for his sake as I did for Shawna's. And in fact, I wasn't particularly annoyed by anything last night -- again, just a bit tired. I laughed at a few of the things Molly said just because she has a knack for being kind of ridiculous sometimes, but she didn't even irritate me either. I still would have preferred to have been anywhere else but in a meeting.

Julie told me she likes to come to the meetings because she can spend time with me. Well, there's a difference between spending time with someone post-meeting and actually being in the meeting, at which point there isn't much of social interaction going on. It's all business, for the most part, and with our Board it tends to be business we've discussed forever and a day multiple times. Bleh. When it comes to meetings in particular, I've just become sort of static about them. I certainly don't enjoy them anymore, and it will be nice when they no longer take up so much of my time (more time than I spend on the newsletter, this month, perhaps twice as much time actually). Getting my time back to myself will be nice.

Amy Mi was suggesting we have two months of transition between Boards when we elect new officers in the summer. I am so not having any of that shit. I always planned on making my final Board meeting the transitional meeting to be traditionally held in July and I'm sticking to it. If anyone needs to know anything about what I did while on the Board, it's not like I'm inaccessible. I'm not exactly running out of town or anything. I'm just taking my Mondays and Tuesdays (and a few weekends) back. Because I need them if I want to continue being happy.

I suppose it's conceivable that I could take a couple years off of the chorus and come back again. I kind of doubt it, but I certainly won't presume to have any idea where I (or my head) will be at two years from now. I certainly had no clue in January 2002 that I would be here right now, so we just wait and see. I don't like trying to plan my life too meticulously because I learned the hard way that whenever I do that, life makes a bunch of decisions of its own. For now, I'm content with going with the flow, with just a small dash of ambition (such as volunteering for SIFF).

It was nice to spend time with Julie, though, as usual. Same goes for Amy. I'm hoping we can actually keep the plan for watching Amelie at Julie's place on Friday, though, because I think that would be a lot more fun than spending an evening in a meeting.

How interesting that I feel so close to both Shawna and Julie, two people from the chorus who are worlds apart from each other. I suppose it could all be chalked up to circumstance. In any event, those are the two relationships forged via the chorus that are most important to me, and I am beyond confident at this point that those relationships will transcend my involvement in the chorus. In the past I thought that leaving would cause too much of a social void in my life, and I don't feel so much that way anymore.

-- CCI --


I think I mentioned that I finally got Rufus Wainwright's third and most recent CD, Want One. Well, I have to tell you now that I think it's my favorite of the three. I have fallen completely in love with it. It's just beautiful, especially "Vicious World." Why do such beautiful songs have to be so short?

I love singing along to Rufus. Of all the people I listen to, I think his range is closest to mine, so singing to him is incredibly comfortable for my voice.

-- CCI --


Today is DLU 201. That's the CCI: roman numeral for 201. It keeps making me think of Communications Center, Inc., though -- the place I worked at in Spokane where I met Barbara. I'm glad it was so many years ago now that the memory doesn't bring back all the anger I felt so often there anymore.

Sometimes, time passing is a very good thing.

-- CCI --



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Current Mood: content content
Current Music: Rufus Wainwright, "Movies of Myself"

1 transmission complete or positive energy please